Things that make you go "Hmmm"

I decided to start this because I’m always seeing things that amuse me or make me go “Hmmm”.

In case you didn’t notice, I don’t take this blog business too seriously (at the moment) and my posts will reflect this.

As I have little experience with these things it’ll be a bit scattered & such, but hopefully make some sense to someone. If not, too bad.

I’ve had things laying about the house for ages that i intended to post somewhere, but now that I come to actually do something about it I can’t find most of them. Ahh well, I’ll find them again.
The problem with me is that I see something here & there that amuses me or seems a bit daft or whatever, then later I see something else either similar or reminds me of something else and before long I’m actively searching for weird things.

It’s crazy, I can’t just shop like a ‘normal’ person would shop, No, I have to deliberately look for things that are stupid, or don’t make sense. I think manufacturers could really cash in on people like me.

I hope I can insert pictures in here (I’m pretty sure I’ve seen other blogs with pictures – I’ll find out in a minute) and I hope I can keep adding to this one, surely I can.

Anyway – I know smoking is a bit taboo these days and those that smoke are seen as unclean etc, but being ‘Heathen’ I’m quite used to people having that opinion of me. This first ‘item’ is regarding tobacco that I have bought while abroad, or more accurately the warnings that they put all over tobacco pouches these days.

The warnings on the packets & pouches in this country (UK) are all designed to remind you that what you are about to do is probably not very good for you, and also a fair amount of scare mongering thrown in for good measure.
I’m sure you’ve all (smokers and non-smokers) seen these great black & white warning notices plastered all over tobacco products stating things like “Smoking will make you impotent” – “Smoking will lead to a horrible, agonising death” and all manner of nasty words. It’s all crap though, Ok so smoking might not be the healthiest thing to do, but the Government don’t really want you to stop smoking anyway, think of the revenue they would lose. No, these warnings are simply there because of all the jumping up and down and fist waving that anti-smoking campaigners do in an attempt to remove some of our (smokers) rights to satisfy or enhance their (anti-smokers) own, which puts pressure on the powers that be to ‘do something about it’.

I digress – this is about those warnings and not why they are there.

For some time I have smoked Drum handrolling tobacco mainly because it is one of the cheapest and I’m not that fussy as long as it doesn’t taste too much like breathing in smoke from a balefire.

On the back of the foreign pouches of Drum there are still the same warnings as we have over here, but obviously in their own language, and a few other languages as well (usually not English though).

This part “Roken is dodelijk” always struck me as amusing (even though it says something like “Smoking is deadly”) when I say it – It seems as though it should mean ‘Smoking is dodgy’ or something. I don’t know, it’s just my weird way I guess, but I found it funny, and since the first time I saw it I have said it in numerous situations to numerous people.

Well that sort of wore off after so long, but recently a friend of mine who smokes Old Holborn (or Old Heartburn as I call it) went abroad and brought some back with him. When he came to visit he had to show me the warnings on the packet (of course) and while some were similar to those I’d already seen, there was on in particular that again amused me. These seem much funnier when you actually say them instead of just reading them.

The bottom one, it ends with what sounds like (when you say it) ‘Pigeon licky dude’.

So maybe nobody else will find that even remotely amusing, but I do.

Basically it actually says “Smoking can lead to a slow, painful death”.

So on that cheery thought I’ll finish this for now.

Keep checking though (if random weirdness appeals to you at least) as there will be more to follow as and when I find more.

Thanks for staying awake this far.